So finally i discovered my true calling in life i want to help people ..till now i had been thinking a lot about my own selfish motives but now that i have realised it doesnt work that way i need to fiugre out what i want to do i know this is a straight way of communicating with you god so i thought i would put them in writing so that i am able to remember it for future references and do not get dissuaded when you show me the path ..

first thing is i have to go back

build an orpahange with a school providing residence and food free of cost ..

i need to start a scholarship program for the much learned students so that they can pursue their dreams

i need to set up a trust whose members are not driven by their personnnel greed but are not only qualified in lifes journey and have learned that it is the lords work that is important .

i do not care this project's cost and if i have to give it my soul i am willing to do so ..bcos now that i have finally made up my mind i will do it only for my own mental peace and satisfaction

i have sinned a lot in this life and for once i need to take the path god is showing me ..

i need to take care of all my personnel affairs first so thati am able to take care of my goals with complete peace of mind

once i know how to go forward i need to keep building on the lords good work ...

it is my duty from now on to follow gods foot steps no matter what and i am going to accomplish this with his help

i am no longer going to pursue my own selfish needs if i can help others in need

i know god is going to make me know what is wrong and what is right..

i now want to build a charitable hospital whose aim would be to serve humanity without any cost where best medical treatment is provided free of cost ..

i know this takes a lot of hard work and money which i am willing to put in if i have the resources to do so ..

i know satan is going to pursued me of this plan but i am by gods will going to follow this path that will provide me with true salvation ...

i am going to read this everyday so i am able to remember my true calling in life .

i am going to be a good son and a good husband , marry the girl i so hope for and keep her happy she is the one who may help me in following this dream of mine .

i hope all this is accomplished as it is lot of work and i need to atart working on it by gods grace

god give me the power to withstand this eventful or eventless time make me strong and determined to follow the course i set myself today .. make me all meaning ful and let me take one step at a time make me capable of doing what i want to do in life which is to help others i know i have sinned even tried to turn to the dark side but you stopped me in time ...i know you are there watching over me in these times of distress and will help me come out of it very soon ..help me god to fulill lthis dream .i am sorry i lost faith in your wisdom and thoughts ..amen

dear god , today i learned what it truly means to love ,i hated it , i hated it so bad and while i know i am depressed, i know you are the only way out of it . i know my relation with her is over and while i was supposed to help her get cured from hers why am i suffering now ..i did what you told me to do so why i have to go through this now .you know how much i love her .i made a lot of mistakes along the way but i know now is the time to repent and i have repented . please god show me a way in to the light .i Hace tried and i have tried hard in this life to make some thing of it but i know this time if i dont get her i will never be able to love again...please god help me show me a way out of this situation ..please dear lord .create a miracle let me be with her atleast make me capable of following my dream ..let me see the truth let me follow the light in to my future .i know that day i saw the numbers but dont remember if i played them may be i did maybe i didnt create a miracle god let me follow my dream .i really want to meet her be with her ..please god just once in this life and soon i want to be with her if it is not your will , i will gladly accept it but i dont want to go like this .for once hear my prayers lord i just want it to happen once heal my soul god heal it ...gimme what i deserve , peace , happiness and a way in to the light ..so i can follow your path to help others in need god i know evil is tryin to dissuade me and it almost did but i came back and ask for your forgiveness today so i can feel your presence ..i do remember our conversations and i do remeber the way you always guided me ,i never listened to you and this probably is the the last time i ask for this favour show me the light god ...make me worthy of achieving some thing in this life make me able to help those i love and those who need it let me be with you lord let me be able to go to usa for once to meet her so i can see her and tell her how much i love her ..make me worthy lord make me worthy of helping others ..and be good for life ..i know my true calling is else where to do some thing great gimme the means to achieve it gimme the power to make my dreams come true and let me help those who need it gos please help me let me be a soldier in your greater plans for mankind let me be at peace ...

Amen